This is going to be a very different Mother’s Day for a lot of moms out there. My heart goes out to those of you who can’t be with your moms or your kids today. While video calls have been a wonderful way to stay connected while we’re all staying home, it’s just not the same as being able to hug each other and be together.
As hard as it is, I still hope that most people will be sensible and not undo two months of social distancing. We’ll all have to get creative in how we celebrate our moms safely this year.
I also think it’s important to allow yourself to feel the sadness this day may bring, whether you’re a mom who can’t be with her kids, or a grown “child” who can’t be with Mom. And let’s face it, during times like these, must of us really want our moms!
For those of us who’ve lost our moms, the sadness this day bring is nothing new, but we may feel it more deeply this year, since we’ve already been living in an almost constant state of grief for the past two months: grief over the collective loss of our normal lives, anticipatory grief over what life will be like after the pandemic, and of course, grief over the loss of lives, even if you’ve been fortunate to not have lost someone close to you. So don’t be surprised if you find yourself feeling the absence of your mother more than you have in past years.
My mom passed away 26 years ago. The pain of missing her has faded after all these years, but I still feel some sadness, and I’ve been finding myself missing her a lot more in recent weeks and months. I also often find myself reflecting on the hardships she lived through during World War II in Germany, especially when I feel like I can’t stand this current situation for even one more day. She lived through a lot worse for six years. I hope I come through this current challenge with even a fraction of the grace she showed then.
My mom with Feebee, spring of 1985
Whether you’re the mom of human or feline children, try to find ways to enjoy today. Look through photos of happier times, do some journaling, go for a walk in nature, order takeout or delivery from your favorite restaurant. Most of all, find something to be grateful for, even now.
And if your mom is no longer with you, I hope today is filled with wonderful memories of your time together.
